The Life and Times
by kimberlybluebelle
Summary: A series of one shots involving Fili, Kili, their little sister Brili and Thorin. Just some cute family fluff that's been stuck in my noggin to go with A Child of Durin. You are certainly welcome to read either one or both but they can both stand alone! :)


Thorin considered himself, among other things, a very proud dwarf. He was the rightful heir to the throne of Erebor, a direct ancestor of Durin and, as he knew in his heart, a king. Bearing these facts in mind, it took a great deal to break him. He had survived his home being seized by dragon fire, the death of his father, his brother and countless friends and allies along with more battles than he could begin to recall. All of these, in this moment, seemed to fail in comparison to this particular day. He was sure that in hindsight these events had little to do with the cosmic fate of his people but he was beyond exhausted none the less.

He had returned to the Blue Mountains after some time away to work the forges in a nearby town. He hadn't been gone incredibly long, a few months really. It had been torture to be away from Dis and the little ones though. Little ones, he could hardly call Fili that any more, he was on his way to becoming a man. He was going to be twenty-two soon, still a boy but he would grow quicker than Thorin cared to think. Fili was actually the reason Thorin had returned at all. He wanted to begin to tutor the lad and groom him as his successor. He had returned home in good speed to tell his sister of his plans to begin teaching the lad as soon as she would allow, hopefully the following day.

Dis had been less than pleased with this news. In fact, she had shouted at him for half the morning before she calmed herself long enough to serve her now very excitable children breakfast. Thorin did not believe that he would feel a greater joy in the way their faces would light up at the sight of him. Brili, who was still as clumsy as a young dwarf tot should be, had tumbled down the stairs at the sight of him and Thorin had to rush in to catch her before she reached the bottom. She was fortunately unscathed and a piece of caramel that he had purchased in town before had kept her from crying too long from the scare.

Ugh, Brili was more than half of his trouble at the moment. Had he not seen her but a few months ago, he would have sworn someone had replaced his sister's youngest child with an imp. The littlest one had appeared quite calm and soothed under her mother's watchful gaze which was a large factor in his agreement to watch the two youngest while Dis took her eldest for an outing. He was also hoping to buy his little sister's favor so that he could begin Fili's training as soon as possible. He knew it would be a difficult thing for Dis to accept and wanted to make the transition easy. If an outing with Fili was what she wanted then an outing she would have. He was sure he could handle the youngest children for a day of play.

He couldn't.

The moment the trio set foot out in the sunlight, Brili went positively mad with delight. She darted in every possible direction under the sun in a matter of moments before she excitedly sat on the blanket Thorin had provided, happily babbling about Durin only knew what. Kili had remained, for the most part, well-behaved and quite pleasant to spend the day with. He had packed his wooden toys to show to his uncle and sat rather peacefully on the picnic blanket to play, often asking where his big brother was and frowning when told he would have to play with his youngest sibling for the day. It was fairly clear that the littlest child was grating on his nerves especially when she attempted to play with his toys. It wasn't her fault, really. The child was only six and at that age Thorin himself had been a force to be reckoned with but he was certain that he had never had this much energy! No child could! She had enough liveliness in her to power all the forges of Erebor and then some! The tot would drive him mad!

Then she decided to get lost. Oh, his beard had grown a year's worth of silver hairs when he turned and realized Bri had wandered off somewhere he couldn't see. Her obvious safety set aside, Dis would kill him if she ever found out! Kili found her several excruciating minutes later, clinging to the middle branch of a tree with wide eyes that were too frightened to cry. Thorin got her down safely and was quick to admonish the child when she was certain that she was safe on the ground. Unfortunately for him, this made the little princess cry even more for being scolded. It was this behavior that caused him to bring them inside again.

All these events brought him here, sitting patiently in the playroom while he waited for some of the handmaidens to bring him a brass tub and some warm water to wash the little hellion as she was covered in sap and twigs from her time in the tree. The little one in question, her earlier plight forgotten, sat on the ground with her beloved dolly and her bare feet swinging to and fro. She had calmed down considerably and he couldn't stop himself from wanting to scoop her up into his arms like he used to when she was a newborn. She was making the doll dance on the floor beside her and she began to sing in a voice that was so awful he couldn't even begin to describe.

"Do 'oo know, the muffin man?! The muffin man! The muffin man! Do 'oo know the muffin man?!" she caterwauled good-naturedly. She hadn't been educated in the entire song so she repeated these two lines like a prayer as loud as she could.

Kili, however, appeared less than pleased with her. He knew Kili was actually quite cross at the moment as Bri had broken one, maybe two, of his wooden toys; Thorin had yet to find the body of the missing soldier and had deemed it missing in battle. He sat in a corner with pursed lips and narrowed eyes before he finally stood up. Thorin watched the boy warily; worried he would upset the now pacified child.

"Sing, Ki, sing!" she demanded jovially when she noticed her brother. "Do 'oo know the muffin man? The muffin man! The muffin–"

"Stop!" the boy finally shout, his patience finally worn out. "Stop singing that stupid song!"

At his outburst the little girl's eyes began to water in earnest and she clung to her doll like a lifeline. Her lower lip puffed out and her eyes began to scrunch up as tight as they could. Thorin rushed in to try to quell the tears, knowing that if nothing was done she would begin to scream. He was too late. Within seconds a horrific sound pierced his ears, causing him to flinch and recoil from the child.

"Kili!" he scolded over the piercing cries as he pulled the boy away from the screeching toddler. "Look what you've done! You mustn't do that! She is only a child!"

"But she was bothering me! She's been bothering me all day!" Kili complained, glaring at the girl from around his uncle's waist. Bri caught sight of the glare and began to cry louder.

Thorin drew in a great breath to gather his patience, may the ancestors see him through another day. "Kili, she doesn't mean to. She is too young to understand what her actions are–"

He was cut off by a snuffling sound behind him. Much to his surprise the little girl stood up and carefully approached her brother, her blue eyes gushing tears, and threw her arms around his stomach. Thorin's eyes softened at the sight of the little one attempting to mend what she had perceived as a wrong. Kili looked down at her in surprise and Thorin saw a little guilt glint behind his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Ki," she whined softly in her tiny, squeaky dwarfling voice. "I'm sorrrrry."

Kili seemed unsure and looked to his uncle for guidance. Thorin offered the boy a reassuring smile before patting him on the shoulder. The brother knew what to do. He returned the hug and smiled at his sister.

"It's okay, Bri," he soothed.

"You yelled at me!" the little one accused between her sniffling.

"I just had a long day without Fi. I'm sorry I got mad at you," he apologized sincerely.

The little smiled up at her brother. "'S okay. I miss Fi too! When's he gonna come play?"

Thorin was about to commend both of them for apologizing when there was a knock at the door. It opened without further ado and several dwarf maidens arrived with a child sized tub and buckets of water.

"My king, we are here to wash the princess as asked. We have the tub for her bath," one of the maids said graciously as the rest were busy pouring the water into the tub.

At the mention of the word 'bath' there was a fire that lit in the youngest child's eyes that was more terrifying than dragon fire itself. She leapt back from her brother and glared daggers at Thorin. He reached out to catch her but she leapt from his grasp like a slippery fish and raced across the room in a blonde blur.

"No," she huffed, placing to hands on her hips. "No bath!"

"Brili," Thorin warned, in no mood for any more shenanigans from the little spitfire he called a niece. "Get in the tub and let these ladies wash you for dinner."

Bri shook her head, apparently not pleased with this decision. "No!"

Thorin felt his hands begin to shake and had to remind himself not to strike the child. He would never do so to hurt her, only for disciplinary reasons, but Dis would never forgive him for it and she presently had his heir to the throne. Kili watched his sister with surprised eyes and he sidled over to her with his hands behind his back.

"C'mon, Bri," he said pleasantly, trying to cool her now blazing temper. "Baths are great!"

"No they aren't! I hate them!" she complained, stepping backwards as he approached them.

"Mum doesn't like it when you say that word," Kili rebuked, his forehead creasing with the extra effort to think of ways to talk her into the tub.

"I hate it!" she screeched, her voice reaching untold pitches.

"ENOUGH!" Thorin finally bellowed, his chest puffing out in front of him. This had the desired effect on Bri. She leapt into the air before dashing into Kili's arms and then hiding behind his back. Thorin rounded on the maids. "You may go, ladies. I will wash the child. She is far too excitable tonight for any one of you to do it."

"I assure you, she'll be no trouble, sir," the maid said, watching Bri with a terrified glance. "We have washed her many times."

Mahal, even the maids were afraid of her. His niece had become the horror of the Blue Mountains! Well, not on his watch.

"And I'm sure she was less than agreeable then. It's time someone taught her to behave and dislike the tub a little less. Go now. I will handle this."

The maids nodded their heads and scurried out of the room one by one. This left Kili standing over his sister with shaking knees, afraid of his uncle's wrath. More importantly, afraid his baby sister would be on the receiving end of it. Thorin gave the boy a look.

"Kili, go to your room and wash your hands and face for supper."

"But, Uncle, I–"

Thorin did not wait for an explanation from the lad, his fortitude truly spent. "_Now_, Kili."

The boy nodded and hurried out of the room. Brili looked a little more frightened without her brother to protect her but stood her ground. She mimicked her uncle's pose by crossing her arms over her chest and setting her face into a scowl. If Thorin hadn't been so tired he would have found the sight to be very comical. But he was tired, worn out and wondering how Dis did this every day, and did not find her belligerence a laughing matter. He knelt down in front of the tub and rolled his sleeves up, ready to get very, very wet.

"Brili, clothes off. It's time for your bath," he commanded, not looking at the girl but preparing the soaps to wash her.

The tot stomped her foot. "No!"

He quirked an eye at her; the little babe was clearly trying to court death. She had fallen down the stairs, trapped herself in a tree, and was now trying his temper. She crinkled her nose at the sight of the tub and the smell of the flowery soaps.

"I will not ask you again, child," he warned in a low voice. "I can hardly return you to your mother in the state you are in. Take that dirty dress off."

Brili balked and toyed with the hem of her grass stained dress but didn't pull it up over her head. He snapped his fingers and the girl, who was now very aware of her misbehavior, jumped about a foot in the air before pulling the dress off over her head. From there she sat on the ground, as naked as the day she was born, and crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes began to water and she started to pout. Thorin let out a harsh sigh and beckoned that she go to the tub. He saw her shake her head profusely from the corner of his eye and tried to think past his frustration. Brute force was going to get him nowhere with this one. He had to be smarter than that. He strode past her and began to gather a few toys off of a nearby shelf: a sailboat, a wooden soldier and a fish. He took these items and placed them next to the tub.

"Would you like to climb in yourself?" he asked, leaving her little room to negotiate.

She frowned in earnest now and tried to cling to the fur rug that lay between her bare bottom and the floor. Thorin knelt down on one knee in front of her and placed one large finger under her tiny chin, lifting it gently and making eye contact with the now angry and over stimulated child. She narrowed her tiny brows and jut her chin out at him, lifting it away from his hand. He suddenly let a playful smile grace his face.

"Have I ever told you the story about the Great Sea?" he asked mischievously.

Her sapphire eyes widened like supper plates and she shook her head. "No, Uncle! Tell me!"

Thorin gave a noncommittal shrug before turning away from her and back to the tub. "I can't. It's a story that must be _shown_," he said cryptically, placing the toys in the brass drum.

She stood up now and cautiously crept up behind him, standing on tip toes so that she could keep her distance from the offending bucket of water. Thorin remained quite still and poised during this, his training as a warrior kicking in. If he moved too suddenly this would all be for naught. He smirked ever so slightly; this was going exactly the way he wanted.

"How… How's you going to show me?" she asked, cautiously.

"Just like this," he responded, thinking fast.

Before the child had time to react, he had scooped her up in his arms and hoisted her off the ground. She let a squeal of surprise out and Thorin began tickling her sides. The action caused her to begin to giggle in delight! She began to kick her little feet in glee as he began to swing her about in his arms and tossing her lightly. After a few moments of this he held her close to his torso, ready for her to be a little resistant. She was giggling still and had both of her hands on his chest.

"Alright, little one," he addressed her with his best story telling voice. "Are you ready to hear the tale of the great sea?"

To his surprise, the girl nodded and he approached the tub. She eyed the object with a hint of disdain but seemed to be more interested in the story Thorin had yet to invent. Perhaps he hadn't thought this through. He tapped her nose affectionately with his free hand and she nuzzled his neck affectionately.

"Alight then," he said with little ceremony as he lowered her into the warm water. "In you go."

She was clearly displeased with his trickery and he decided he should get the washing done as quickly as he could. As he began to soap her hair, his large hands gently kneading the soap into her soft baby curls, he began to invent a story of a great fish the size of a mountain. The child watched her uncle intently as she held on to the fish toy tightly, her eyes wide with wonder. He smiled in spite of himself; why hadn't he thought of this earlier?

In truth, he would never be able to recall the tales he told to the girl in the tub as all of it was spoken on the spot. But his plan had worked nonetheless and before long Brili was scrubbed clean of her day of adventure. He smiled down at her as she began splashing about in the dirty water, attempting to drown the wooden boat he had provided for entertainment. She had begun to make sounds like tiny imaginary people screaming and crying out for help from the 'great and terrible fish' when he decided that they had both had enough adventure for one day, imaginary or otherwise.

"Well done, Bri," he praised, snaking his hands around her sides to lift her out of the tub. "Let's get you dried up."

She looked up at him reproachfully. She wanted to stay in the water now! "But, Uuunncaaaa," she whined, "I wanna hear more story!"

He looked slightly alarmed and his eyes widened but he hoisted her out of the water anyways. "But there is none! Your water is cold and your fingers look like raisins!"

She looked down at her hands before he covered them and her entire body with a large cloth to dry her with and started to giggle. He smiled at her and planted a kiss on her forehead before turning from her to find her a change of clothes. Preferably something warm as the late autumn nights were chilly in the mountain and he didn't fancy her catching cold on his watch. He selected a simple dress with a warm fur robe to wear over it, it would make her like a wild thing for sure, but it would keep her warm, which is what he desired.

"Let's get you dressed now, what do you say?"

He turned around when she hadn't responded to find her lying on the floor, wrapped up in the wet cloth he had used to dry her, sleeping as if she had been sleeping for hours. He let out an enormous sigh at the sight before him. The wonders of children would never cease! Less than an hour before, she had him ready to pull his hair out! Now she looked so harmless! He stooped down and scooped her into his arms, bringing her to her to her small bed. When he got there, he found he couldn't put her down. He had been waiting for the better part of the day for this moment and now that he finally had the peace he craved he wanted to spend it with the tot! Children truly were a baffling thing! He smiled and wrapped her now in the warm blanket that lay over her bed, discarding the cloth for the maids to clean up, and carried her over to the armchair by the fireplace.

A couple more hours with her certainly wouldn't kill him after the day he had.

* * *

Hello! So this was just a little blurb I wanted to throw out there for my new idea! Let me know what you think even if you hate it!

Before I really go into this story, I want to talk about how dwarves age. I honestly have no idea what the time frame is but my theory is that they live for about 250 years. Bearing that in mind, I figure it takes them a while to grow from children to adults. So their age is about double what their human age is? Does that even make sense? So if Fili is twenty-two then he's around ten or eleven in maturity? Just a guess?

I also have no idea when The Muffin Man was written but I thought it was hysterical that Bri was singing that.

Again, let me know what you think of the idea of a general family fluff collection and shoot me some ideas!

Until next time!

-kimmy


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